I retrieved this article from my email and don’t know the source, it was forwarded to me by a friend. Just want to share. Here it is:
Do you ask yourself, “This person would be perfect if…”? If you find yourself doing that, or if that person is doing that to you, a compromise needs to take place. Do you ask too much from this person? Does this person ask too much of you? When you are in love, insignificant perceived “imperfections” shouldn’t matter. If you want to change someone into your “perfect mate” just realize that change doesn’t happen overnight, and may take several years – if it even happens. Ever heard of the saying, “You should love people for who they are, not what they can potentially become”? Does your mate love their family? Does their parents approve of you or vice-versa? This is very important in Filipino culture, but extends to anyone. These people will be your future “in-laws” that you will spend holidays with, family reunions, etc. Also, if you feel that this person was raised well, chances are, they will instill the same values in your future children.Will this person be a good parent? Can you stand the thought of your children turning out exactly like this person? They will, you know. Children spend a lot of time with their parents and consequently pick up many or most of their parents’ character traits. You had better like your spouse’s traits a lot because you will be seeing them again in your children.
If something were to happen to you, would you completely trust this person, alone, with the task of raising and forming your children? This is not a pleasant thought, but it is an important consideration. Not everyone dies at a ripe old age with great grandchildren gathered around the bed.
Sometimes a parent dies and leaves young children in the care of the other parent. If you feel that you would need to be around to correct or lessen this person’s influence on your children, then you are considering the wrong person.
Does this person share your faith in God? God does not give us children so that we can mold them into the coolest, most popular people in school. Our job is to get them to heaven. To do that, we need to raise them believing in God. It is tough to do that if only one parent believes. Saying “this is right and this is wrong, and I want you to ignore Mommy until you are thirty-five” does not work. Small children ask about eight billion questions in a single day. The answers to those questions go a long way toward forming the kind of adults they will become. Who will be answering those questions for your children?
Does this person you are marrying have sexual self-control? Single people sometimes have this idea that marriage is just some kind of lifelong sex festival and that as long as they have each other, they will never be tempted by other people. Wrong! There are many times in every marriage when one partner or the other is sexually unavailable due to illness, the last months of pregnancy, and travel. There are also times when spouses just get on each others’ nerves. At times like this, other people can seem very appealing. That can be dangerous, because there are plenty of very attractive people out there who are willing to make them available to married men and women. Do you want someone who has never said “no” to sex? If he is not good at saying “no” at eighteen, it won’t be different at forty. Do you want to worry about whether or not your spouse is being faithful?