I work on a mid shift schedule everyday during the non-critical days. When I say critical, it’s month end closing, literally month end close, during the last week of the month when we do the closing of the books. Relate or not? Well I apologize for being so technical here, I mean accounting work here.
That said, mid shift means 2pm to 11pm Manila time, and because I live in Pampanga and do commute everyday, and that my travel takes an hour or so, and that I always catch the Mariveles’ first trip of the ffg day, which is at 1230am., I reach home at around 2am. My husband fetches me at Paskuhan. Safe enough for me to travel everyday.
I must say I lack enough sleep. I get to bed past 2am and woke up at 8am. Hmmm that’s 6 hours and I realized it’s not bad anyway. But doing it daily makes me want to sleep for long. Much as I wanted to do so, my husband who is not used to rising up late, forces me to get up even I still want to snuggle. Huhu.
This morning was rough. I always check the time on my phone, uh it’s still early 730 am, I can still get to sleep until 8. I did. And while I was hugging my sleeping daughter, I heard my husband opened the door, I waved him while I was lying back on him, and when I turned to him, I saw his frowned face, not in a good mood husband. And because of that, I thought he was mad of me because of me getting up late. He doesn’t want it, but I still do to catch enough sleep. Besides that, I heard him slamming the lunch box I used in the office. He washed it with irritating sound, nagdadabog in tagalog. It showed how upset he was of me. It gave me a sad feeling though, albeit he was not saying anything, but, action speaks louder than words. Tears started to fall on my face then.
And I did not talk to him, I hastily got the washed clothes and folded them as I cried secretly. He made coffee, which I normally do, and brought it to where I was folding clothes. I said no, I don’t want, but he insisted. I wasn’t looking at him as he might notice I was crying. So I got the cup of coffee and placed it under the bed, and never drank it. He left me and went back to sip. He might have noticed then that I am already not in a good mood.
I decided to go to work, to leave the house earlier than usual to avoid myself from showing into him. I bathed JD, I swept the floor, cleaned JD’s feeding bottle and then I took a bath at 9am. I normally take a bath at 1030 0r 11am. Then dressed up, my husband saw me and asked “why are you so early?”, I just gave him a quick eye and shrugged. He sat at the kitchen while I was preparing to leave. He stayed there, I already brought my bag and blazer outside, but I can’t help myself not to tell him my feelings. So I went back to him and said, “pasok na ko para mawala na ko sa paningin mo”, and my tears fell. I told him the reason behind why I was like a moody wife. We talked about it. Then he asked an apology, he said sorry for what he had done.
It’s a petty thing right? But I am a person na madaling masaktan at hindi talaga umiimik kapag nasaktan. But today was different. Because i don’t want to prolong what I feel with him (without him knowing it) I decided to talk about it. And I was right to discuss it with my husband. We are both okay. I changed clothes again to wear pambahay and waited for him to finish his cooking para pambaon ko.
I want to emphasize here the importance of communication. It’s very momentous that you and your husband or anyone, talk about something blurry. Discuss it over and compromise. Say sorry if necessary and spread love.
With much love,