Losing A Loved One

It is a saddest moment of our lives when one member of our family left us and rejoined our Creator. No matter how hard and painful it is, we need to accept. We need to accept that he cannot be with us anymore physically. And I’m starting to weep.

March 8, 2018, we lost our dearest father in law. He was diagnosed with lymphoma on January 2018, after several tests and biopsy last December 2017. He was a fighter, he fought hard after his first chemo and series of radiation or tomotherapy. I used to read a prayer for him every morning when I can.

But on his second chemo, it made him weak and looked he lost his encouragement to fight. He shook his head conveying he cannot endure it anymore.

It’s hard seeing him that way. It’s so painful to see his sufferings. He didn’t deserve it. And I’m really crying. We just so loved him. He’d been a very good father to all of his children, a loving and thoughtful grandfather to his grandchildren, a loving and kind father in law to his daughters and sons in law. He was loved by many, by the whole community.

Many people shed tears during his last days. Nights wake were filled of a lot of people who loved him. It was an attestion that he was a good man to all.

Times really went so fast, God made it so fast to get him from us. From January to March, in a span of more than two months, we lost him.

When he was in the hospital, because his blood pressure dropped so low, it was found out as well that he had pneumonia, and his diabetes also made him so weak. On his second third day at the hospital, I joined my husband in going to himand visited him. He gestured his hand on his head telling me to read him a prayer. I did. I can’t help myself but cry as I was uttering every words of the prayer. I stopped for some moment to bring back my composure, but I really can’t help my tears. I never thought it would be the last prayer I would read for him. When I left him because I was going to work, I hold his hand and pressed it really hard, conveying him to keep on fighting.

The next day I went with my husband again. Our father in law was so weak that he wanted to be released out from the hospital. When he released, and as he wanted, that was the time he left us, March 8, 2018 at around 10am.

Tatay Erning, I may have not told you that I love you, but I hope through my gestures you somehow felt that I did, so much! Together with your other daughters in law. We loved you so so much. And your children and grandchildren  of course, you know how much they loved you.

What made me so sad as well was, my kids didn’t have a chance to hug him when his chemo started. He wasn’t able to kiss them during those last days. We were told that my kids were not allowed to get near him to avoid spreading some virus or infections. So sad.

Sayang hindi nyo po nahintay moving up ng mga apo nyo especially Jhaydii who moved up from K2 with high honors. We knew you were so proud of her, of them, wala ka pang sakit we were already planning that you will go up on the stage to award Jhaydii, pero di na nangyari.

Tatay Erning again we all loved you so much. Please continue to watch over us. You may now always rest in peace. No more pains.

With so much love,

Your David Family